Right now I'm sitting here, can't make the call to the neighbors, just can't. It causes me tears, begins my heart runnin' into panic, causes me to rock back and forth (stimming). When I'm here by myself I can act as the observer, watchin' my physical reactions and knowing why that is the reaction. It doesn't make it any more comfortable for me. That's what I've learned about living alone, I'm not good at it. All I need is a car jump, they are a mile away, they are my neighbors. If one of my neighbors called I'd grab my keys and out the door I'd go. I'm sure that will be their reaction if they have jumper cables. It is immediately "depressing" for me when I realize I cannot call them, it's not that I won't, it's that I can not.
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